Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
