I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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