I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
