It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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