a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
