dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
