my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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