I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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