In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
