No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
