I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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