Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
