the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
