The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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