fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
