After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
