Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
