Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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