i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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