the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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