rhymes with "ouble enetration"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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