I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
"it" just moved
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
