I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
