Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
