Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
