Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
