I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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