Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
