I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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