I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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