i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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