Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
