I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
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