so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
