Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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