my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i've created a new STD.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
