my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
