Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
