i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
