Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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