I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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