he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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