i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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