he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
