What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
