White coat. Heels.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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