You're my little dorito
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize