so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So much rum. So many feels.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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