i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize