Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
