My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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