This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
