I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He better not be in your backpack
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
that may or may not have been my penis.
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