Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
