is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
