Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
