My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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