sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
