he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
