Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
